Endings or beginnings
by so-not-arsed
Summary: Bella is left devastated after her beloved Jacob dies in a car accident, it's up to Alice to get her back to her old self but will she cope with new feelings and new beginnings or are things all just too much!
1. prologue

Prologue:

Alice had decided two years had been more than enough time for me to grieve ... it was obvious Alice hadn't known the trauma of losing someone so close, he wasn't just my boyfriend he was my best friend, my protector ... my Jacob! Every time his name crossed my lips I could feel the tears streaming down my face, the memories all flooding back of that night, the night he was stolen from my grasp!

It was raining heavily which wasn't unusual for Forks, we where on our way back to my house to watch a movie, butterflies in my stomach, a frequent occurrence when in Jacob's presence. As he drove I couldn't help but admire his perfect features, long black hair and tanned skin, his eyes fixed in the road, concentration written on his face up until he realised I what I was doing ... he never understood my obsession ,he just thought I was staring at him ,but it was so much more than that . I had memorised every single detail to his immaculate face, every line, every curve.

It was only when he turned to me; his eyes left the road, just for a split second, which turned out to be a split second too long! The car swerved out of Jacob's control, a look of panic came over his normally serine face , I couldn't help but think to my self that this must be a dream and that i'll wake up soon and the nightmare will be over !

I woke up the next day to find myself in Forks general hospital unable to move without feeling sharp pains all over my body. It soon registered that it had not been a dream as i had hoped, not anywhere close! Even my hair felt like a half tonne weight on the top of my bandaged head, but if only my health was the extent of my worries!

Dr. Cullen glided in, and stood beside my bedside with an apologetic look upon his handsome face, I knew this wasn't going to the news I was hoping for ... but what he said was not what I had expected.

"The young male that was driving the car at the time of the accident ..." his voice seemed to drift off , the words were not registering in my head it all didn't make sense and then the three little words that came next broke my heart in so many different places.

"I'm so sorry"

The words were so unbearable to here , I huddled into a ball the physical pain overtaken by a new pain ... a worse pain an emotional pain that I knew would never fully heal! My Jacob was g-g-one!

Alice danced in to my room unaware of my thoughts, but obviously startled at my now red blotchy face and the river I had created running down my pillow. She wrapped her arms tightly around me trying to comfort me.

"It's okay Bells we don't have to go out, not until your ready, Kay!"

"NO, no Alice we are going out, it's not fair on you, you have hardly been out since ... well, you know what! I mean when was the last time you saw Jasper?" trying to change the subject and take my mind off the sentence was unable to complete

"Don't worry about Jazz and I, he understands that I need to be here, with you!"

A sympathetic kind smile came across Alice's pixie like face.

"It's up to you Bells "

Alice had a way of making everything better, she has stood by me through all my mood swings, tear tantrums and everything in between, I owe her so much, in a way she has kept me sane! So I guess one little night out can't hurt, can it??

"Okay Alice your right, I guess I do need a change of scenery, I have been staring at my turquoise bedroom walls way to much these ... past two years!" I hadn't realised how long it had been as I cried most of the day and when or if I noticed the sky turn to black I would try to sleep , my dreams ,the only place I could be myself , with Jacob. Reality came back suddenly and I saw Alice sitting beside me, she was used to me daydreaming during conversations at this stage! A smile like no other lit up the room! But all of a sudden it turned to a guilty grin. Panic overwhelmed me for fear of what Alice had planned.

"So Alice where are we going tonight?" I asked trying to sound as casual as possible

It was obvious she was trying to hide her little plan, but after my slight break down she decided it would better not to try and push the emotionally unstable!

"Okay, so you know how Angela is really sporty??"

"Well yeah!"

"It was her idea to maybe go to the batting cages tonight!"

"And you agreed to this Alice, you of all people wouldn't strike me as the sporty type??"

"Haven't you noticed Bells, I love sport! Tiger Woods hasn't got a patch on me" she giggled sarcastically with a cheeky grin

"Alice, you do know that he plays golf ... not baseball don't you??" I said trying to hold back the laughter!

"Oh, sure it's all the same thing!"

"Ermm sure!" I said not able to control myself at this stage

"But they can't be that different, I mean they are practically the same all you need for both is a ball and a stick!" she argued happily convinced she was right!

It was obvious baseball wasn't Alice's master plan , there was something more , something I wasn't going to like , something that was much worse than shopping !


	2. and so it begins

Chapter 1:

"Come on Alice, how long does it take to get ready, we're only goin' to the batting cages!" screamed Angela from downstairs.

"It's not me, its erm Bella, she hogging the mirror! "She said with a cheeky grin as she looked in my direction.

I didn't understand the effort Alice was making just to go to play baseball, and then I realised that Alice always looks nothing short of perfection. Alice obviously didn't believe in function over fashion like me!

"Okay Bells you ready?" she asked with a serious face like I was the reason we were a little late!

"Yes I think I have been just about ready for almost twenty minutes now!"

"Oh, you're going like that??"She asked with a look of disapproval on her face.

"Um, yeah!" I mumbled self-consciously while looking down at my ripped jeans, dirty runners and my favourite oversized hoodie.

Alice quickly grabbed the suitcase sized bag that she called 'her make-up bag' and danced towards me with a sparkle in her eye!

"It's only baseball Alice", I whimpered as she poked and prodded me with everything from mascara to lip-gloss!

If Alice had have got her way ,I would be going in a dress and high heels but she made do with a better fitting hoodie and some clean runners of hers (that were 2 sizes too small , but I didn't want to complain, after all she was the one making the bigger sacrifice with my appearance!)

Three minutes and seventeen seconds of torture later I met Alice's standards, and so we ran downstairs, one slightly more gracefully than the other!

No one even commented on Alice's not very sporty ensemble that consisted of mini shorts, which she insisted were necessary to make her look taller and a white vest top, Alice wasn't used to 'dressing down; as she called it so this was a big step for her!

The doorbell rang but Alice had already gone to get it, like she knew it was going to happen!

Jasper had come to pick us up and as soon as Alice had jumped down from Jasper's arms we headed off on the short drive to the batting cages. As we arrived I could see balls flying, and people all having fun, and then Alice's master plan hit me as if I had just been slapped in the face, all the people here were around the same age as us and all MALE I searched frantically through the people hoping I had made a mistake and that they were just some very masculine looking girls, but no! Alice was trying to SET ME UP!!

I looked over to Alice with a look of despair written in big black capital letters on my face, mouthing the words "I will kill you later!"

She looked back with an apologetic smile hiding her delightment at the amount of guys here!

I reluctantly got out of the car but I wasn't able to ignore that fact that there were a lot of people staring at us; after all can you blame them. I highly doubt that we are the usual type of people that you would normally find here, and Alice's short shorts were not helping the matter, and by the look on Jasper's face I don't think he was too happy with her choice of outfit, but as he learnt long ago, it's a BIG mistake to criticise Alice's choice in outfit, not that you could ever fault it, she just has a slight problem dressing to blend in!

"Okay Bells, Jazz and I are just going to get some food but we'll be back in a while, kay?"

"WHAT?? You're not staying??"

"Nope , you didn't really see me playing baseball in these shoes did you Bells??" she giggled happily as her plan unfolded , all I was waiting for was the evil laugh , but I didn't think Alice would be able to make her high pitched voice go so low!

"I didn't even notice that ... YOU'RE WEARING HEELS?!" it all was becoming clearer and clearer Alice had no intention of ever actually playing baseball , and I only now noticed that Jasper must have been in on Alice's idea as he to wasn't exactly dressed for sport , in a shirt and jeans.

"I'm sorry Bella, I can stay if you really want me to!" she mumbled with puppy dog eyes

"No, no it's fine I think Angela wants to play anyway!"

"And on the Brightside Bells, there's not a bad view here!" she laughed and pointed in the direction of a group of boys only to the annoyance of Jasper "Don't worry Jazz , I'm only window shopping , after all why would I want a new dress when I have a much nicer one at home!"

Jasper and Alice walked hand in hand back to the car and I unwillingly walked over to Angela and the very large group of boys she was now with!

"Hey Bella, I take it Jasper and Alice are gone?"

"So you were in on it too?" I pretended to laugh.

"Yeah sorry about that, anywhos let me introduce to everyone; this is Emmet, Edward, Mike, Ben and Rosalie"

I looked up at the last name, and I saw long flowing blonde hair, tall and slim, _she _was defiantly no boy! She was beautiful, flawless pale skin and perfect white teeth!

"Hey, I'm Bella "I forced a smile to be polite

I scanned through the faces, not really remembering all the names, I stopped at the second boy, he wasn't as tall or as _big_ as the first, but I couldn't help but look at him, almost like the way I used to look at Jacob, again I could feel tears coming but I was able to stop them, after all it wouldn't look so good, the new girl just bursting into tears for no apparent reason!

"Is she _okay_?" I heard a deep voice ask from the distance

I returned to the conversation and away from my thoughts, everyone staring at me with confused expressions.

"Have I got something stuck in my teeth or something??" I asked bewilderedly

"No, it's just you were standing there like you were in a trance or something!" a concerned voice informed me, I looked around to find it was the one I was staring at, _Edward_ the only name I remembered.

Oh great I have just met these people and they probably already think I'm a freak, but on the plus side that has got to be a record or something!

"Have you ever been hypnotised or anything Bella?? Because I once saw a documentary about people relapsing into trances even years afterwards! That could be it" stated the first, bigger guy.

"Erm no I don't think so, well I'm fine now so its fine!"

"So is anyone actually planning on playing any baseball??" asked Angela

I was hoping the answer would be no, after my little reality drift, I'd say it would be better if they didn't have to cope with my attempt of sport too!

"Na, not really "Rosalie added

"Kay then we can just go to the diner down the road then!" Emmet agreed

Everyone nodded in agreement and we walked over to Emmet's jeep and half of the group got in until the jeep was full .I was the only one left standing outside.

"Edward, you and Bella follow us then?" asked Emmet

"Yeah sure" he answered politely

I followed him unsurely to his silver Volvo and I reluctantly got in , this was something I wasn't used to doing , I _have_ only just met him and now I have just got into his car ALONE!!

His faced changed, serious now

"Get in the car i'm a friend of you're mothers!" he said, no humour in his voice. When he seen the obvious terror in my eyes, he burst into fits of laughter,.

"Jeeze ,Bella cant take a joke?" he asked still giggling at my now trembling hands

He could sense my panic, probably because I didn't hide it well as I had already dialled the first two 9s on my mobile just in case!

What was I doing...!!


	3. the volvo

Chapter 2: The Volvo

I looked around one final time , trying to make it obvious to the surrounding people what I was doing, just in case I went "missing".

" I Isabella Swan am now getting into this silver Volvo with this man , Edward!!" I screamed at the top of my voice, throwing my usual "blend in attitude" to the wind!

Edward shot me a confused look, I guess he thought, _he_ was the one in danger, _he_was the one getting into a car with a maniac! I ignored him and continued as I got into the car...

"So what are you Edward, 6 foot?" again screaming as loud as before. Grabbing more and more attention as the seconds slowly past.

"6.1 actually" he said calmly with a mixture of pride and fear.

"Wow, 6.1" I repeated much louder though.

As I closed the door behind me the temptation to scream "_Help, he's a maniac and trying to kidnap me_" almost overwhelmed me, but I was positive he was thinking the same thing so I managed to keep quiet.

As we sat in the car, the silence almost deafened me. Until all of a sudden

"_So Isabella Swan"_ he screamed in his deep hypnotic voice

Although I jumped out of my seat with fright, I still managed to send an evil look his way. Edward chuckled and continued his sentence this time in calm soft voice.

"Would it make you feel a little more at ease if I showed you my driving licence or something?" he asked politely now wearing a big grin on his face.

He understood from my unsure expression that it might help me relax. He reached over me to the glove compartment while still keeping his eyes on the road and handed me a small laminated card .

As I looked at the photo I couldn't help but gasp in amazement at how perfect the photo was, and yet it still didn't do him justice. He looked over with a curious look on his face.

"Did you just gasp?"

"Maybe just a little, but your photo, it's perfect." I confessed "But you'd gasp too if you saw mine, okay maybe for different reasons but a gasp's a gasp!"I mumbled

I put it back in the glove compartment and I couldn't help but think of _my_ photo, bushy hair and the eyes half closed I'm about to blink look.

As I closed over the door I felt the car (for the first time) slowing down. We had arrived.

I looked out the car window and saw everyone sitting inside the diner.

"You ready?" Edward asked as he jumped out his side of the car. I bent down to pick up my handbag which had now slid under my seat, just as I looked up I noticed Edward standing with my door open, waiting on me!

"Are you always this polite, well when you're not screaming at people that is!"

"Well we were brought up the old fashioned way if that's what you want to call it, so I guess it's just force of habit."

"It's not that I'm complaining, it's just unusual to see. Anyway I can see them staring so we better get inside."

Edward nodded and we walked slowly inside

We were greeted, not with hellos but with question after question, I hadn't realised my little safety net earlier had taken up so much time.

"Where were you guys for the past twenty minutes?" Angela questioned.

"Yeah Bella, what did you do, get kidnapped or something?" Alice giggled.

"You do realise you've already missed plate number one!" Emmet added

This I wasn't too upset about as I wasn't feeling too hungry. Conversation flowed for what seemed like an eternity, Emmet adding slight innuendo whenever he saw an opportunity! It felt like we had known each other years, not hours, things just seemed so natural.

At 11 we all left as the diner was just about ready to close, Alice insisted on getting everyone's phone number, e-mail address, and any other contact detail she could think of, Alice had already started planning our next meeting!

"C'mon Bells we gotta go!" Alice sang as she walked past.

"I'll be there in one minute, kay?"I replied.

"Sure but I'll be counting."She smiled and walked over with Jasper to his car.

"Okay then guys I guess I'll see ya soon! Well if Alice has anything to do with it!"

As I walked off I heard a voice.

"Until then Isabella Swan!" a voice like no other, smooth, soft I didn't need to look around to know who it was, it was _him,_ Edward. I didn't turn around as the chance I'd be a very attractive shade of crimson was too high to risk, instead I waved politely from a safe distance.

Jasper dropped Alice and I off at her house, she kissed Jasper goodbye and we went upstairs to Alice's bedroom. I lay across her very large four poster bed, in preparation for what I knew was coming.

Alice jumped beside me and didn't say a word, instead she grabbed a pillow, and wrapped her arms around it.

"_Well!_"Alice nudged

"Well what Alice?" I replied innocently

"Don't give me that Bells, I've known you far too long to fall for that one." She argued with a smug grin.

I shrugged my shoulders and made a humming sound!

Alice turned serious, "Bella, you know you _are_ allowed to like boys ... after all you're only human, don't you remember that talk at school ... about the "birds and the bees"

I never understood why they called it that, because if the birds and the bees did things like that, we would have some _very_ funny looking animals!" Alice drifted off into a giggle towards the end at the thought of a cross between a bird and a bee.

"Beerd!" unable to control her laughter now.

"Alice, please can we change the subject now?" I interrupted

"Of coarse we can, and I know the perfect topic ... _Edward Cullen!"_

" Alice." I sighed

Before she could argue on his behalf I continued,

"Alice I know what you're thinking, and I know you _do_ mean well ... but I just erm don't think, okay I don't even know what to think anymore, things are just so confused, and the fact he thinks I'm a rapist doesn't particularly help the matter!"

I could see Alice's face becoming more and more confused with each word.

"What's this about a rapist?" Alice questioned.

"I'll explain it all in the morning, right now I just want to go to sleep!" I lied, I knew I wasn't going to be able to get much sleep tonight.

"Kay then, but if you think I'm going to forget, you don't know me too well!"Alice whispered

"_Goodnight_ Alice!"

"Okay _okay ...night Bells, sweet dreams."_


End file.
